Nightswimming (revised)
NightswimmingThe bird sang. The tree sank. The bird sang in the red tree.The tree bird sank red the red bird. The tree stayed. The bird strayed. But it wasnt really a bird. Notreally a song. More the...
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As we findourselves aligned with that whichis more than self in the birth of redbehind the red leaves.yes, what a deep and thought-provoking way to describe that which is in us that is not just our...
View ArticleRe: Nightswimming (revised)
hello ray,beautiful-love the way you use the moonand the red leaves toodwww.dorothydmienko.com
View ArticleRe: Nightswimming (revised)
Electric Light Orchestra"Illusions in G Major"Album: Eldorado1974On the seven seas there was a phantom ship acoming,Shinin' in the dead of night,I heard the crew a hummin'Tunes that sounded like the...
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love this..makes me think of "night swimming" and man on the moon and all of it, intertwined with Ray and some red, red leaves...bravo!
View ArticleRe: Nightswimming (revised)
thanks jill (yes, that's what i was going for! 'Beauty is truth, truth beauty' keats), dorothy (glad you liked it), neil (didn't know that ELO song, looks cool) and leta jo (big smile)
View ArticleRe: Nightswimming (revised)
it is so changed and has gained an even better momentum than the original i think but the original also has a certain charm of its own too. so i'd keep it too. i love r.e.m. i just bought their cd of...
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thanks, jill...that's my favorite period of theirs...course i was in college then in athens, ga...and we used to watch them for free....just before they took off real big...
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ray, i think i prefer the original. it gets there cleaner somehow, but maybe you prefer the clutter and confusion? i do like them both, but the revision doesn't add much for me.
View ArticleRe: Nightswimming (revised)
i LOVE your revision (but i love quirkiness) - i am thoroughly charmed! i hadn't read the original before and found it so cool afterwards to see where "nightswimming" came from (wow, talk about a...
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Dang, I love the revision! but but but...I like them both...they are like two different poemsand I would keep them both. Wonderful writing, kerri
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thanks, pj and kerri!still having internet probs...though it seems to be working at the moment....
View ArticleRe: Nightswimming (revised)
.yo, dawg.read this again,but actually i don't think i ever read itcoz i think i read the first one the firsttime so it wasn't until the second timethat i read the second one, so it's OKto write a...
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